God only knows what we are fighting for

thoughts that mean nothing.

these words were something that I truly believed. Why? I have no idea. any thought that comes into my mind always means something, especially now. I have been doing a lot of thinking these pass few weeks and every thought has been leading me closer and closer to reuniting with myself. I have never felt more content and happy with the choices that I have been making. I am striving to make a difference. Not with the world (yet) but with myself. I realized, that in order for me to find true and beautiful happiness I need to be undeniably happy with MYSELF.

Someone once told me that true happiness is only found within yourself, within your heart, and within your soul. If I only listened the first time, I wouldnt have been lost. But I am glad that I have found the rod, and this time I am holding onto it, Holding tight and heeding forward.

I throw my hands up in the air.

Have you ever just looked at yourself in the mirror and notice every flaw, every imperfection, and every experience. From just one hard look at yourself you can recognize and reflect everything that has come in and out of your life. It is crazy to think that in a month I will be 22. It is crazy to even think that I have been living on this earth for that long already. I can look look straight and deep into my eyes and reflect on one of my most cherished and oldest memories. I can remember going with my grandmother to go see my mom after having my twin brothers. I remember clasping on to her hand and walking through the hospital doors and just being in complete and utter awe at the sight of that, what seem to be, huge palace. I will never forget that. I can look at my face, my skin, my cheeks and be exceedingly grateful for the beauty that has been bestowed upon me. I can look at my face and flash back to the night when I had to see my sister in one of her most horrific states. Screaming and bloody, lost and confused. Never again do I want to go through anything like that ever again. Never again do I want to see someone that important and that dear to me, ever go through that much pain and suffering. The face, it can tell a lot about a person, it is the passage into our souls. The story book of our life time.